Pursuing a Flower
by SnapesDream
Summary: The Marauder's Era: Severus Snape never wanted to like her, but as time went on, he did. The tale on how he found and the lost his light in the darkness. Pairings: SS:LE and LE:JP. Please RR.
1. Charms

DISCLAIMER: Anything that you recognize, I don't own. It's all JK Rowling.  
  
A/N: Please read and review. It makes me happy, and I would like to know what people think about the story. Thank you, Snapeaholic, for beta-ing this story! I so appreciate it!  
  
Chapter One: Charms  
  
Severus Snape walked down the hall with the rest of his fifth-year Slytherins, most of whom were slightly ahead of him as they neared the Great Hall for lunch. He was not known to be social by any means. He was a rather awkward, shy boy who had obviously grown into his height far too quickly and was having trouble adjusting. His black hair appeared rather greasy and was cut in a shaggy style that caused it to often fall into his eyes. His almost-black eyes glanced over to the group of Gryffindors hanging out in front of the entrance of the Great Hall.  
  
'Don't notice me,' he thought to himself as he pushed up closer with the other Slytherins. He was constantly tortured by Potter and his group 'The Marauders'. It was such a stupid name. He could not help but overhear their conversation.  
  
"Come on, Evans. Be my girlfriend," James cajoled as he attempted to put his arm around the redhead's shoulder.  
  
Lily shrugged his arm off of her. "I said no, Potter." She moved, trying to enter the Great Hall, but he and his friend Sirius were blocking the entrance. She was rather annoyed since all Potter had been doing since the beginning of the school year was hassling her to go out with him.  
  
James motioned for Sirius to let her by. "See you in Charms class, Evans." Lily just shook her head at him in frustration and passed quickly into the Great Hall.  
  
Severus saw James and his three friends walked in after her. He caught James's comment to Sirius. "She can charm my pants off any day."  
  
'Disgusting,' Severus thought. He could care less about Lily Evans. She was just another Mudblood, but he still didn't care to hear such filth. Despite the scene he witnessed, he was rather glad that they had completely ignored him.  
  
He sat down at the Slytherin table and began to eat while flipping through his DADA book. It was his favorite class besides Potions, which he was just naturally talented in. He continued reading, eventually forgetting about his food. He was so absorbed in the book that he didn't even realize that it was time to go to class until another Slytherin boy hit him in the arm.  
  
"We have to get to class," Jugson stated before heading off.  
  
Severus closed his book and got up, walking to Charms class. It was his least favorite class. In his eyes, the class was fairly pointless. It didn't hold importance like Defense Against the Dark Arts or Potions. He quietly slipped in and sat down in the back corner of the room. He was just far enough away from the Gryffindors to not draw their attention. He bowed his head, concentrating on his DADA book again as he waited for class to start.  
  
Professor Flitwick entered, and class began. "Good afternoon. Today we will be working on the Unbreakable Charm. Can anyone tell me what the Unbreakable Charm can be used for?"  
  
Lily raised her hand. "Yes, Miss Evans?"  
  
She took a breath. "The Unbreakable Charm can be used to protect fragile items such as glass, but it can also be used as a protective measure to keep anything from doors and windows to other spells from being broken."  
  
"Very good, Miss Evans. Ten points to Gryffindor," Professor Flitwick stated. "Now, let's get started. Miss Evans, will you pass out the glasses?"  
  
"Yes, Professor," Lily replied, getting the box with the glasses and handing them out.  
  
"I will demonstrate." He raised his arms. "Numquam Frangere," he intoned as he swished and flicked his wand. A blue light brightened around the glass before disappearing. He then took it. "As you will see, the glass will not break." He threw it forcibly to the ground. The glass bounced once then rolled, not breaking.  
  
"If the spell worked, you will notice the blue light around it. Now, we will test them out." He looked pointedly around the room, particularly at Potter and Black. "Do not test them if the blue light did not shine around them." He motioned for the class to work the charm.  
  
Severus looked at his glass. He didn't understand the point of this spell when one could just use Reparo to fix broken things. "Numquam Frangere," he stated as he awkwardly flicked his wand. Nothing happened.  
  
He glanced around, noticing that Evans's glass already shone with blue light around it. Professor Flitwick tested it out. Damn it! He hated Charms.  
  
"Numquam Frangere." He repeated the process. Nothing. He sighed, noticing that, as time passed, more and more students had gotten the charm correct. 'I could be doing so many more productive things with my time,' he thought.  
  
"Swish and flick, Mr. Snape," Professor Flitwick told him as he demonstrated it again before moving off to help another student.  
  
"Yes, Professor," Severus answered coldly. Swish and flick. 'I'll swish and flick something up your arse,' he thought bitterly. "Numquam Frangere." Nothing. Again. He glared angrily at his wand.  
  
"Since most of you seem to have gotten the hang of the Unbreakable Charm, I would like to take a few moments to talk about your O.W.L.s. It is not too early to be thinking about them. We have learned quite a few charms over the years, and I've decided that we will have a review test once a month to assist in your preparations. Plus, everyone will get together with a partner to practice other various charms we know," Professor Flitwick stated as he handed out a list of all the charms they had covered to date. "Everyone pair up and sit beside your partner."  
  
"Be my partner, Evans," James said as he went and sat down next to her, leaving Sirius and Remus paired together and Peter the odd-man out.  
  
"Does anyone not have a partner?" Professor Flitwick inquired, noticing that both Severus and Peter appeared to be the only ones alone. "Miss Evans, how about you work with Mr. Snape, and Mr. Potter can work with Mr. Pettigrew."  
  
Lily nodded, quite glad to be working with someone else, but she still wasn't so sure about Snape.  
  
"Poor Evans has to work with Snivellus," James snickered. Some of the other students laughed, including a few Slytherins. Lily glared at him.  
  
"Mr. Potter, that was not nice. Five points from Gryffindor," admonished Professor Flitwick. "Now that everyone has a partner, begin working."  
  
Lily sat down beside of Severus. "It's not right what Potter said," she commented.  
  
Severus clutched his fists at his sides until his knuckles were turning white. He hated Potter. He turned his head and glared at her. "I do not need your sympathy. Let's just get to work," he snapped.  
  
She shrank slightly away from him for a brief second before recomposing herself. "Let's try today's charm. Numquam Frangere." She swished and flicked her wand, and the glass turned blue, indicating that the spell worked. "Your turn."  
  
He looked at his glass. "Numquam Frangere," he intoned, swishing and flicking his wand. Nothing happened again.  
  
"You're doing it wrong. It's in your technique." She reached over without thinking and took his hand, guiding him through the proper motions. "It's all in the wrist. It needs to be fluid. You're too stiff with it."  
  
He stared at her hand on his as she moved his hand in the correct pattern again. He suddenly jerked his hand away from her. "Foolish wand-waving," he muttered, giving her a slight glare.  
  
She wasn't sure what she had done wrong. She was only trying to help him. They said little after that, and he was not able to perform the charm correctly.  
  
Once class was dismissed, Lily left in front of Severus, but James stopped her outside the door. "You might want to wash that hand, Lily. You don't know where Snivellus has been."  
  
Severus stopped dead in his tracks and turned to glare at Potter.  
  
She glanced to Severus. "Leave him alone, Potter," she spat, her green eyes flashing in anger as she stepped in between the two.  
  
"Why are you defending him, Evans?" James demanded.  
  
"I don't need defending," Severus stated with barely controlled rage.  
  
Professor Flitwick walked out, noting that the tension between the two groups of students could be cut with a knife. "Is there a problem here?"  
  
"No, sir." James motioned for his friends to follow him, and they left. Flitwick nodded and went back into his classroom.  
  
"Are you okay?" Lily asked, turning to Severus.  
  
"Leave me alone." He glared at Lily, giving her a dark look as he stalked past her. Potter was going to pay, and the damn little Mudblood needed to leave him the hell alone.  
  
A/N: Please review!! It only takes a moment. 


	2. Potions

A/N: The disclaimer stays throughout the story. Please read and review! Thanks again, Snapeaholic for beta-ing this!  
  
Chapter Two: Potions  
  
Professor Kenaz stood in front of the class. "Settle down, everyone. Today we will be working on the Draft of Peace, which is used to calm anxiety and soothe agitation. It is very important to measure everything exactly. Too much of an ingredient can cause the drinker to fall in a deep, sometimes eternal, sleep. Can anyone tell me one ingredient used in this potion?"  
  
Severus wrote all he already knew about the Draft of Peace on his sheet of parchment. Although he normally did not raise his hand in class, he made an exception for Potions and DADA. He raised his hand.  
  
"Yes, Mr. Snape?"  
  
"One ingredient of the Draft of Peace is powdered moonstone, sir," Severus stated as he lowered his hand.  
  
"That is completely correct, Mr. Snape. Ten points to Slytherin," Professor Kenaz smiled. "The Draft of Peace is a rather tricky potion that will require your full attention. It is also one of the potions that will show up during your O.W.L.s. I am allowing you to work together, and I will pair you up."  
  
He then began to pair certain students together, making sure to place one who was a better at potions with one who was struggling. He ended up with three of them left: Severus Snape, James Potter, and Lily Evans. Normally, they would be even, but Remus Lupin was out again. He pondered what to do. He knew that he could place Lily and James together since Severus was quite capable of doing this potion on his own, but he also knew that James had been bothering Lily lately.  
  
"Mr. Snape and Miss Evans will work together. Mr. Potter, you can work with Mr. Black and Mr. Pettigrew." He knew that Peter Pettigrew could use all the help he could get. "Get to work, everyone." The professor went back to his desk and sat down, marking papers while glancing up occasionally to watch them work.  
  
Lily went over to stand by Severus. "It looks like we get to work together again."  
  
"Yes," Severus said coldly, busying himself with the potion ingredients. "You're not going to mess this up, are you?"  
  
She glared at him. "No." She had to admit that she wasn't the best at potions, but she still had decent marks. She copied down the steps from the board.  
  
"You can start with the ingredients. I'll prepare the cauldron." He spoke with an air of authority.  
  
"Very well," she sighed, picking up the mortar and pestle and placing some moonstone in to grind into powder. Moonstone was not as easy to pulverize as she originally thought. She continued to work on it as not to give Snape the satisfaction of needing his help.  
  
He readied the cauldron, making sure it was at the precise temperature for the potion. He glanced over at her, noticing her obvious struggle with the moonstone. A slight smirk flitted briefly on his lips. "Allow me, Evans. You can work at slicing the lavender."  
  
She hesitated for a second, then handed it to him. "Fine."  
  
She took up the knife and began to slice the lavender. The herbs were so much easier to chop. She quickly finished and then began to pick off the yellow flowers of the agrimony, which would be needed to be ground into a fine powder as well.  
  
Severus looked at her again. She had a decent technique, but it could use improvement. He noted by the smell of one of the potions that it was getting ready to boil over. Pettigrew had obviously added the syrup of hellebore before the passion flower. He shook his head and began mincing the passion flower. His hands moved quickly and fluidly as he prepared it.  
  
Lily had finished with the agrimony petals and watched as Severus worked. Wow. If he used half the precision he did in making potions, he could easily get down the wand waving patterns in Charms. She made a mental note to mention that to him during their next study lesson. She was so entranced by his hands that she completely forgot that she needed to put on her gloves for the datura and pricked her finger on the sharp thorns of the mature plant.  
  
"Ow!" she exclaimed, bringing her finger up to suck on it.  
  
He quickly dropped the knife and grabbed her hand. "You don't want to do that, Evans." He took out a handkerchief and wrapped her finger up in it. "It can cause powerful hallucinations if you get much of the datura's essence in your mouth."  
  
Their eyes met as he held onto her hand, and then his eyes suddenly turned cold. "Be more careful next time."  
  
"Yeah. Thanks." She sighed and held the handkerchief tight to her finger until it stopped bleeding. She placed it aside and helped stir the potion as he added the final ingredients. She breathed a sigh of relief as she noticed the potion giving off a light silver vapor.  
  
"Well done, you two," Professor Kenaz commented as he walked by. He  
  
collected the vials, and after giving their homework assignment, he dismissed them, quite pleased with most of their work, although only Severus and Lily had gotten the potion correct.  
  
Severus enjoyed the quiet peace of his favorite table in the library, which was located near the back beside the potions books. He was rarely disturbed here, but unfortunately, his peace was abruptly over as two of his fellow Slytherins ambled over.  
  
"Been hanging around with that Gryffindork Mudblood a lot, haven't you, Snape?" Jugson taunted.  
  
"Yeah, Snape. Is she your girlfriend?" smirked Nott, a sixth-year Slytherin.  
  
"It is not my decision with whom the professors pair me," Severus snapped, not bothering to look up from his book.  
  
"Of course not," Jugson said sarcastically. "Oh, look. Here comes your girlfriend."  
  
Lily entered the library and walked back to the Potions section to get a book. She wanted to work on her homework already, knowing that there was no use in setting it aside until later. She noticed the three Slytherins there and considered retreating. However, she was a Gryffindor after all, and she raised her head defiantly and walked in. She began looking for the particular book she needed, and after a moment's search, she found the book on moonstone. She turned around, finding her path blocked by Nott and Jugson.  
  
"Going somewhere, Mudblood?" Jugson inquired.  
  
"Leave me alone," she said, trying to shove past them.  
  
Severus had pushed his chair back and stood up. He did not want to get involved.  
  
"Where do you think you are going?" Nott asked Lily. He saw Severus trying to leave as well. He gave Lily a firm shove in Severus's direction, and she lost her balance, dropping the library book as she fell hard against Severus. He was knocked off kilter and fell back into the chair with Lily on his lap.  
  
"Sure the Mudblood's not your girlfriend, Snape?" Jugson jeered.  
  
She tried to get up but was pushed back down onto Severus's lap. "Leave me alone," she yelled angrily.  
  
"Why would we want to do that, Mudblood? This is much more fun," Nott sneered.  
  
"Leave her alone, Nott," James said. He was flanked by Sirius, Remus, and Peter, and his wand was drawn.  
  
Nott and Jugson backed away. They were outnumbered. Lily quickly scrambled off of Severus and pushed her way past the Marauders.  
  
"You're welcome, Evans," James called as she left the library. He then glared at Nott, Jugson, and Snape. "You better leave her the hell alone." He motioned for his friends to follow him as they stalked out.  
  
Jugson hit Severus on the shoulder. "Well, that was fun. See you later, Snape."  
  
Severus sat there for a moment, collecting his thoughts. Part of him was completely furious at what happened, but another part of him, particularly the telltale bulge in his pants, had enjoyed having the girl on his lap. He shook the thought away and stood up. His gaze fell on the book laying the ground. He slowly bent over and picked it up. He hesitated to place it back on the shelf, and he checked out the book instead before walking down the halls to the dungeons.  
  
He paused a little ways from the library. He could swear he heard someone crying. Silently, he turned down the corridor and paused at an opened classroom door. He peered inside and saw her sitting on the floor against the corner. Her head was bowed, and her knees were pulled up to her chest. She was obviously upset, and he considered just leaving for a moment. "Evans?"  
  
She quickly wiped her eyes and glared at him. "Are you going to call me that horrible name too?"  
  
He gave her a questioning look before he realized what she meant. Mudblood. Nott and Jugson had called her that degrading name. He walked over and knelt down in front of her. "I wouldn't do that, Lily. I know how it is."  
  
Her bright green eyes met his dark ones, and she slowly nodded in agreement. Yes, he would understand. He handed her the book he had brought. "You dropped this back in the library."  
  
"How...?"  
  
"I checked it out. You can use it. Just make sure you turn it back in when it's due," he told her.  
  
"Thank you, Severus," she said with a slight smile.  
  
He stood up and offered her his hand. She reached up, taking it in hers, and stood with his assistance. They looked at each other for a moment.  
  
"I should go," she said suddenly. "Thank you for the book, Severus." She moved past him to leave, but stopped at the door. "If you would like to work on your charms work some more, I am willing to work with you. I even have an idea that might help."  
  
"Very well, Lily. That sounds nice," he answered.  
  
She smiled at him. "Okay. See you later." She waved good-bye to him and left, feeling better about what happened earlier. She was actually looking forward to working with Severus again.  
  
A/N: Please review!! It only takes a moment. 


	3. Private Lessons

A/N: Thank you again, Snapeaholic, for beta-ing this. Also, please read and review. It is appreciated.  
  
Chapter Three: Private Lessons  
  
Severus paced the empty classroom, waiting for Lily to come. She was late for their lesson. He was growing fond of the Muggle-born girl, and it worried him that she had not arrived yet. Their private lessons had become the highlight of his week as they had worked together these past few months.  
  
The O.W.L.s were coming in three months, and some of the fifth-year students were beginning to worry and were working harder. The only students seemingly unbothered by the upcoming exams were the Marauders, who had been provoking him with a greater fierceness than before. He hated them and silently vowed to one day show them all up. Potter and Black were the worst of it. Pettigrew was obviously just a follower, and Lupin...he wasn't quite certain about him.  
  
He suddenly stopped pacing and sat down in one of the chairs. He was going to drive himself insane if he kept it up. Lily would come. She hadn't let him down. He was finding that he trusted her, and he didn't want to do anything to betray that trust. He would sit and wait for her. She would. She had to. Wait. What if she forgot it was today? What if something came up? She was never quite this late. Actually she was fairly punctual. He steeled down his emotions. Why should he care about some little Mudblood girl who was his study partner? If she didn't come soon, he would just give up and not worry about it.  
  
Lily was on her way to the classroom to meet Severus. She shifted her Charms and Potions books to her other hand as she wove through the group of people talking in the hall, not paying attention to who was in the group. Her thoughts were elsewhere, on Severus.  
  
She didn't really understand him. One moment he could be nice, and the next he was making a snide remark. She had tried talking to him during their lessons, getting him to open up, but he refused and continually dodged her questions - especially when she asked him about his home life. He intrigued her, and she wanted to know more about him, wanted to understand why he was the way he was. She guessed some things were best left unsaid.  
  
She turned down an empty hallway and walked towards the classroom, noting that she was going to make it right on time.  
  
"Evans, where do you think you are going?" Potter inquired, stopping the pretty redhead.  
  
She groaned softly. "Potter, don't you have someone to prank or something?"  
  
He laughed. "Not really. I haven't seen Snivellus around lately."  
  
"Don't call him that," she snapped defensively.  
  
He suddenly turned serious. "Why do you constantly defend him? You know he's just using you because you can help him in Charms. You deserve to be with someone more suitable for you."  
  
"Oh, and who would that be? You?" she scoffed.  
  
He grinned, running his hand through his black hair, causing it to stick up even more. "Yes, me. Why not me? We're both in Gryffindor. Plus, I like you, Evans. You should be my girlfriend."  
  
She glared at him. "You are an arrogant twit! I can't stand the sight of you. You are repulsive. I wouldn't be with you if my life depended on it!" She spun on her heel, ready to leave.  
  
"Not so fast," James said, catching her arm and stopping her. "Come on, Evans. You haven't even really given me a chance. Go out on a date with me."  
  
She wrenched her arm away from him. "Never," she huffed, storming off without a backwards glance as she marched down the hall.  
  
"Never say never, Evans," he called out to her as he left.  
  
Lily entered the classroom and slammed the door, causing the glass in the windowpane to rattle slightly. She went over to one of the desks and dropped her books on it as she sat down. "That insufferable wanker! I swear one of these days I'm just going to hex him." She turned, seeing Severus, and let out a sigh. Her features softened as her anger dissipated. "I'm sorry, Severus. I was detained. I would have been here on time if it weren't for Potter."  
  
Severus had planned to be rather cold to Lily when she arrived, but when she stormed in, he cringed slightly as the fiery redhead entered the room and slammed the door. Lily Evans was not the type of person who got this angry, and it was a little scary - not that he would admit it. It explained everything when she said that Potter had caused her to be late. He knew that Potter bothered her constantly. Severus just wished that he would leave them both alone.  
  
"It's all right, Lily. Shall we get started?" he decided instead.  
  
She sighed and nodded. "Yes, let's." She took out her wand and opened her Charms book. "How about we review first?"  
  
He nodded, taking out the few supplies that they needed since it was his turn to bring them. He smirked and pointed his wand at the glass. With a swish and flick, he said, "Numquam frangere." The glass turned a bluish color. Then, he threw it to the ground.  
  
She clapped. "Well done, Severus! I was beginning to think that that one was hopeless."  
  
He glared at her. "I can do some of the charms, but I still think all the wand waving is foolish."  
  
"I know you do. It's quite useful though. You could use that charm on your beakers in Potions, so they won't break," she suggested, giving him a practical use for the charm.  
  
Severus had to grudgingly agree that it did have some use. He would still much prefer doing Potions or learning about the Dark Arts.  
  
"Now, I know you were having trouble with the summoning charm. Have you worked on it?" she asked, knowing that one would was very important as it was sure to be on the O.W.L.s.  
  
"I've worked on it some," Severus stated. He had the banishing charm down, but he couldn't quite make the summoning charm work. He stood up from his chair, banishing an object across the room.  
  
"Now, bring it back," Lily said, watching his form.  
  
"Accio pillow." He awkwardly swished and flicked, but nothing happened. The pillow didn't even twitch.  
  
She stood up and shook her head. "You are doing it wrong." She went over and stood beside of him. "Watch me." She gracefully swished and flicked. "Accio pillow." The pillow flew through the air into her arms. "See?"  
  
He glared at her and frowned. "I don't see any difference in what I did than what you did."  
  
She huffed. "Well, there is an obvious difference because mine worked, and yours didn't. Let me show you again." She slowly swished and flick, demonstrating how it was done. He just seemed to stare at it, not quite comprehending. She tossed the pillow across the room and then grabbed his wand hand, causing him to stiffen. "I'm not going to bite, Severus. Relax. Do I have to put a cheering charm on you?"  
  
He glared at her. "Do and you will regret it," he stated, his voice low and almost dangerous. She knew how much he abhorred that charm, yet she always used it to get what she wanted out of him. He did relax, noticing how she stepped closer to him. Her hand enclosed around  
  
his, and she moved it in the correct motion over and over again as she leaned into him, her breasts lightly brushing against his arm. His breath quickened slightly. She was so close, too close. He suddenly moved away. "I think I got it," he said roughly.  
  
"Okay." Her green eyes stared into his dark ones. "Try it again."  
  
He broke away from her gaze and looked at the pillow. He raised his wand, swishing and flicking like she taught him. "Accio pillow." The pillow flew to his hands.  
  
She smiled brightly. "Good job. Foolish wand-waving indeed!" she laughed.  
  
He glared at her and then gave something like a smile. "It is foolish wand- waving, but when it works, it's all right." He looked at her. "Would you like to go over some Potions material?"  
  
"Sure," she said, sitting down and grabbing her Potions book. "I am having trouble remembering this one potion." She opened her book and pointed to it.  
  
"Ah, Dreamless Sleep. It's a complex potion. We probably won't get one this hard on the O.W.L.s, but I'll help you with it." He sat down beside her and leaned over, pointing to various ingredients and explaining ways to remember and group them. After awhile, he noticed she was looking at him. "What?"  
  
She had a sweet smile on her lips, and her green eyes met his. "You have a very nice voice, Severus." She had never realized it before, but she could listen to his voice all the time. "You could be a professor with a voice like that. Students would be certain to listen."  
  
He stared at her for a moment before sneering. "I don't want to be a professor. Besides, you were staring off into some dream world. I don't think you were actually listening to a word I was saying."  
  
She rolled her eyes and spoke almost verbatim what he said, causing him to stare at her again in wonderment. "See? I was paying attention."  
  
He huffed slightly. "Yes, you were. Anything else in particular you would like to go over?"  
  
She took the book and glanced through it. As she casually flipped through the worn pages, she spoke, "Why won't you tell me about your family? What's it like being in a pureblood family?"  
  
He stiffened and moved away. "There is nothing really to tell."  
  
"I'm sure there are differences from muggle families. I would like to know about your family. You never talk about them." She knew very little about his background, but she knew he was a pureblood and that he had no siblings. That was pretty much the extent of it.  
  
"What about your family? You mentioned before that your parents were thrilled to find out that you were a witch, but your sister wasn't. Does she still give you trouble?" he inquired dryly, hoping to change the subject.  
  
She laughed sadly. "Petunia hates it. I think she may be a little jealous of the fact that my parents are happy about it. She thinks I'm a freak." She had gone back home during Christmas break and had had constant trouble with her sister and her sister's friends. They were actually worse than the purebloods here who called her a Mudblood.  
  
"Why don't you just hex her?" he asked, seeing the dimness in Lily's eyes. She seemed upset that her sister didn't like her.  
  
She smiled. "Trust me, I have actually considered it on a time or two, but I haven't done it yet. You are getting away from the original topic about your family. It's very Slytherin of you."  
  
"Thank you," he said, taking it as a compliment. It was actually.  
  
She crossed her arms and slightly pouted. "Well?"  
  
"Well what?"  
  
"Tell me about them!"  
  
"There is nothing to tell," he said. What could he say to her about his parents? Could he tell her that his father was a complete bastard who liked to hit his wife and son when he came home and had drank away the Snape riches? Should he tell her that he usually spent the summer in his room, not because he wanted to, but because he had to because it was safer? No, he couldn't tell her these things.  
  
"Can't you tell me something?" she pleaded.  
  
"Are you always this persistent?"  
  
"Do you like answering a question with a question?"  
  
"Do you?"  
  
"You are impossible, Severus Snape!" she exclaimed, throwing up her hands. "Fine. Keep your secrets. You'd think that your parents had two heads or something with how secretive you are about them."  
  
"I can assure you that it is nothing like that," Severus said, glad to have won this little battle. He was not going to talk about his parents, and she was just going to have to accept that.  
  
She sighed softly as she checked her watch. "Oh, I have to go!" she exclaimed, grabbing her books. She had promised Professor Flitwick that she would help him with a few things he needed. "Continue to practice your Charms. You are doing so much better! Thank you for the Potions lesson, too! See you later, Severus." She gave him a quick peck on the cheek and dashed off to the Charms classroom.  
  
Severus sat there, stunned. She had left as quickly as she had came. His hand lightly went up to touch the spot on his cheek where she had kissed him. He was so shocked that he could not think straight.  
  
"Good bye, Lily," he said softly to himself. He shook his head, clearing it of the onslaught of thoughts running through his mind. It was only a friendly kiss on the cheek. Nothing more.  
  
He refused to believe in some illusion. He was not the type to dwell on pipe dreams, and believing that he and Lily could be anything more than friends was simply that. He stood up and left the room quickly, not able to sit there as he dwelled on what had happened with him and Lily during their private lesson.  
  
A/N: Please review! They are greatly appreciated! 


	4. Last Study Session

A/N: Thank you for reading. Please review as they are very welcomed. A special thanks goes to my beta, snapeaholic.  
  
Chapter Four: Last Study Session  
  
It was the weekend before the O.W.L.s, and though it was a Hogsmeade weekend, most of the fifth years and all of the seventh years had stayed at Hogwarts to study for their exams. Lily was stressing in the library over all the information there was to learn and memorize. She sighed heavily, placing her head on the desk. "I'm never going to be able to remember all of this," she lamented softly before sitting back up to go over her notes for Ancient Runes.  
  
She and Severus had spent a lot of time studying the last few weeks, but they would end up talking instead of actually studying. She enjoyed his quiet company, especially once she got past the occasional snide remarks. She had been a little disappointed that she had not found out too much about his home life. He spoke very little about it, and their conversations had become fairly one-sided. He seemed very interested in her life, asking about various things concerning Muggles. She had even invited him to send her an owl over the summer or to stop by. He seemed completely surprised by the invitation, but unfortunately, he had gracefully turned her down. She felt like she had to work on him about it. They were friends. She didn't see why they couldn't write each other during the summer or perhaps even visit.  
  
She closed her Ancient Runes notes with a soft sigh and looked at the time. She had an hour before she was supposed to meet Severus. They were going to get in one last study session before the O.W.L.s started tomorrow.  
  
She desperately needed a short break, so she packed her notes into her bag and slung it over her shoulder. She hoped that she could have a snack a little down time, especially since she had skipped lunch.  
  
She had barely taken two steps away from the library when she was confronted by James.  
  
"Hi, Evans," he said, blocking her path. He was alone at the moment.  
  
"Potter," she said as politely as she could and tried to move past him. "I don't have time for this. I have things to do. The O.W.L.s are coming, in case you've forgotten." She tried to brush past him, but he caught her arm.  
  
"Lily, come on. Why won't you at least talk with me? I'm not that bad. I mean it," James said, almost pleading with her.  
  
She sighed slightly and looked at him. "What do you want, James?"  
  
He bit back the comment that he wanted her. He had liked her all year, and she wouldn't even give him the time of the day. She was the only one who wouldn't. Any girl would feel lucky to have him, although it seemed like she wanted absolutely nothing to do with him. "Actually, I was wondering if you could help me. You are the best in our Charms class, and I've been having a little trouble with Cheering Charms. I used to be able to do them back in third year, but I've forgotten, and when I do the spell, they just don't work right."  
  
She blinked slowly, completely surprised that he wanted her to help him with a charm. She pursed her lips, thinking whether or not she should help him. Cheering Charms were going to be on the O.W.L.s, so she knew that if he couldn't do them then he would fail that portion of the test. With a sigh, she tucked a strand of her red hair behind her ear. "Fine. I'll help you. Let's go to one of the empty classrooms to practice."  
  
She motioned for him to follow her as she walked to the Charms classroom. Professor Flitwick had lent the classroom to her before, so she knew he wouldn't mind if they used it. Besides, she was supposed to meet Severus there in about forty-five minutes, so it would work out to already be there waiting. She was completely lost in her thoughts that she failed to notice the arrogant grin that James was sporting.  
  
They arrived at the classroom, and she pulled out her wand. "The Cheering Charms are quite simple if you swish and flick correctly." She demonstrated it without saying the words. "Now..." She noticed that he didn't seem to be paying any attention to what she was actually saying. She put her hand under his chin to have him look at her. "If you want to learn this, then pay attention."  
  
James looked at her, noticing how she had touched his chin. He could feel his heart palpitating at her touch. He nodded and took out his wand. "Like this," he said, purposely doing it the wrong way.  
  
She sighed. "No, that's not right." She moved closer to him and took his wand hand then, moving it slowly in the correct way.  
  
"Oh, like this," he said, doing a little better. He liked Lily holding his hand. It just felt right.  
  
"Well, that's a little better." She grabbed his hand, showing him a few more times. "Now, for a demonstration." She pointed her wand at him. "Hilaritas," she said, swishing and flicking her wand. James' face broke out in a wide grin, and he did feel more cheerful than before. She was obviously good at Charms. "Your turn now," she told him.  
  
He pointed his wand at her. "Hilaritas." The charm didn't work because he had purposely botched it again. He just had to give her more time to get to know him. He wasn't that bad, and he really liked her.  
  
"Not quite," she said with a sigh. She stepped closer to him, showing him the wand movements again. "Try again," she said, still close to him.  
  
"Hilaritas," he said, performing the spell correctly this time.  
  
A grin played on her lips, and her green eyes brightened a bit. "You did it!"  
  
"Yes, I did," James said, moving in to kiss her suddenly.  
  
"What's going on here?" a cold voice drawled out, causing both of them to jump slightly.  
  
Lily turned her head, starting to push James away as he tried to kiss her. Then she saw Severus. "It's not what you think, Severus," she said desperately, the grin still on her face from the Cheering Charm.  
  
"Yeah, right," he said sarcastically. "I think it is exactly what I think." He then turned and stormed off.  
  
She went to go after him, but James grabbed her arm. "You don't need to go after Snivellus. Stay here with me," James told her.  
  
She wrenched her arm away from him. "Leave me alone, James Potter!" She grabbed her things and took off in a run, trying to find Severus. She finally spotted him ahead of her. "Severus! Wait! Let me explain," she called out.  
  
Severus turned sharply on her. "What do you want from me?" he hissed, glaring at her angrily. He had been extremely hurt to find her so close to James. "You two seemed to be having an awfully good time."  
  
She was running after him so quickly that she almost smacked into him when he turned around. She straightened herself. "Potter asked me to help him with Cheering Charms. That's all. I was mainly just waiting for you to come." She reached out to grab his hand, but he jerked it away from her as if she would burn him. "Please, Severus. You are my friend. Let's just have our study session like we had planned. Please." She looked up at him pleadingly with her emerald green eyes.  
  
Severus wanted to be angry at her, but as his dark eyes looked into her green ones, he knew he couldn't be. "Okay," he said reluctantly. "Let's go and study." He brushed past her and went back to the Charms classroom, hoping that Potter had already left. He didn't even bother to wait on Lily, and she had to hurry to catch up with his long strides. He was pleased to find Potter already gone, and he quietly took a seat. "What shall we study first?"  
  
She was slightly out of breath as she entered the Charms classroom after him and took a seat beside his. "I'm having a lot of trouble keeping the ingredients straight for the Sleeping Potion and the Draught of the Living Death. How do you ever remember them all?"  
  
"The main difference between the two is that the Draught of the Living Death has asphodel in an infusion of wormwood. Otherwise the two potions are very similar," he stated in an almost bored tone. "I tend to remember it because it is the longest ingredient in the two potions and Draught of the Living Death is a longer name for a potion."  
  
She smiled brightly. "That's brilliant! I'm sure I'll remember that now."  
  
He gave her a small hint of a smile.  
  
"Are you having any more troubles with a particular charm? You've been doing extremely well lately," she asked him, wanting to help out in any way she could.  
  
"I think I have them all down actually," he said after a few moments of thought. He was tired of studying for the O.W.L.s, although he had kept it up, going over and over things again and again.  
  
Her face fell. She had wanted to help him some more, and she didn't want him to go just yet. She was trying to think of something else potions- related that she could ask him or even DADA-related, but she was coming up with nothing.  
  
"Are you excited about going back home for the summer?" he drawled as he looked at his book.  
  
She smiled warmly. "Yes, I am. I haven't seen my parents since Christmas." She had decided to go home during Christmas to spend time with them. "I could take or leave Petunia actually. I think she's jealous of my being a witch." She shrugged. "I try talking to her, but she goes on and calls me a freak and gets her snobby friends to as well." She sighed. "The last I heard about her was from my mum. She told me that Petunia has a boyfriend. He's supposedly some well-to-do fellow who is a couple of years older than her by the name of Vernon Dursley. He sounds dreadfully boring actually, and I know that if it is serious, then I'll be expected to meet him, which will probably frighten my sister." She laughed lightly at that thought and realized that she had gone on talking again. "What about you, Severus?"  
  
Severus flipped through a page of the book, not looking at her. "I wouldn't mind seeing my mother."  
  
"What about your father?"  
  
He shrugged. "I could care less either way if I saw him or not," he admitted.  
  
"Oh." This was about the most she had ever gotten out of him about his parents. "Is there anything you would like to talk about? I hear that I'm a fairly good listener." She gave him a warm and inviting smile.  
  
His dark eyes fell onto her frame. "No," he said, realizing that he had probably said too much. "I probably should go. Thank you for all of your assistance in Charms." He stood up and grabbed his book to go.  
  
She didn't want him to go. "You're welcome. Thank you for your help in Potions." She hurriedly stood up as well, knocking her book off the desk. "Oops." They both bent down to retrieve the book at the same time and knocked their heads together. "Ow! Sorry!" she said, rubbing her head a bit as she stood back up.  
  
"Yeah," he said, standing up as well. He offered the book to her.  
  
She looked up at him, noticing how they were very close together. She let her hand fall to the book as he held it, letting her fingers brush against his. She didn't understand what she was feeling for him, but she decided to react. She bounced up on her toes and kissed him softly on his lips. She kept them there, pressing them against his as she felt his move slightly against hers before he backed away. She didn't realize she had closed her eyes until she opened them and looked at him. He looked completely stunned, and she blushed profusely. "I'm sorry. I should go," she said, taking her book from him and leaving quickly, thinking that she had crossed a boundary that she shouldn't have.  
  
He stood there long after she had left, his fingertips brushing against his lips. They tingled where hers had touched, and he permitted his tongue to dart out and lick them as if he could taste her essence on his lips. His eyes slipped closed as he wanted to remember his first kiss. It had been sweet and gentle, and he already couldn't wait to see her again. 


	5. The OWLs

A/N: This chapter is taken off of JKR's chapter of Snape's Worst Memory in OotP. I did not use the book to write it though, just my memory of when I read it over a year ago. Please read and review!

Chapter Five: The O.W.L.s

Lily had just finished writing the last answer to the DADA written portion of the O.W.L.s. All the fifth years had been extremely busy that week, and she was glad to finally have it over with as this was the last one. The week had been hell, and she actually felt like

she had been breathing, eating, and sleeping all that she had learned in the last five years of her life.

_...and with those distinct characteristics can one tell the difference between a werewolf and a wolf._

There. She was finished. She set down her quill and glanced at the clock in the Great Hall, which had been transformed into their test-taking area. Two minutes to spare. She breathed a soft sigh of relief as she began to realize that she had managed to survive the hardest exams she had ever had in her entire life. With those two remaining minutes, she looked over her exam, making sure she hadn't left out anything important.

"Time's up! Put your quills down and turn your exams over to be collected."

Lily glanced around, noticing the rest of the people around her. Her eyes rested on Severus. He was bent over where his nose almost touched the parchment in front of him. He was rapidly scribbling down a last couple of words before receiving a stern look from Flitwick. He then placed his quill down almost reluctantly and turned the parchment over. She wanted to talk to him as she had been unable to do so since they had that brief kiss. The O.W.L.s had kept them both too busy, and she had only seen him in passing and now during the exams. Her attention then was turned away when she heard laughter as Flitwick had fallen over while collecting the papers. She smiled sympathetically in Flitwick's direction and stood up to go and see if she could talk to Severus, but he was already gone. Sighing, she decided to go and search for him.

Severus had left as soon as he put down his quill. He needed to get out of there for a while and try not to think about which questions he was worried he hadn't written enough on. He just had to get O's in everything. His father insisted that he did. He passed by Potter, Lupin, Black, and Pettigrew. He caught hints of their conversation, but he didn't think too much about it, especially since he didn't want them to notice and bother him. He stayed close to the side of the stone wall as he walked by a group of girls chatting about the exam.

He was developing a slight headache from the stress of the exams, so he went outside, taking a deep breath. He walked over and sat down under a tree by the lake. He was slightly out of the way as a few other fifth years were coming outside as well. He began reading a book, trying desperately to relax. He didn't get much rest before his book suddenly flew out of his hand into Black's.

Sirius flipped through the book. "We just finished exams and you want to read, Snivellus. Tsk. Tsk." He tossed the book aside and pointed his wand toward Snape.

James, too, had his wand pointed at Snape as he used his other hand to ruffle up his hair a bit more. He had a very arrogant grin on his face as he was already planning what to do. He saw Snape moving for his wand. "_Impedimenta_!"

Severus' movements slowed down as he wasn't quick enough to get his wand out and perform a hex on the two of them.

"_Expelliarmus_!" Sirius called, causing Severus' wand to fall a few feet away from him. He smirked. "I think we should have some fun with you, Snivellus."

Severus was so furious that he felt like his head would explode in anger. "You will pay for this, Potter," he hissed as he moved slowly to get his wand.

James smirked casually. "_Mobilicorpus_!" he called out, causing Snape to hover in the air as if he was a puppet being held by strings. He laughed and began to raise him higher in the air. "What are you going to do now, Snivellus?" he taunted, knowing that Snape couldn't do a damn thing.

"PUT HIM DOWN, POTTER!" Lily ordered sharply. She had gone outside to look for Severus and then had seen him up in the air. She knew immediately who was doing this to him, and she wanted it to stop. "LEAVE HIM ALONE!" Her green eyes were blazing furiously.

James didn't move to do as Lily said. He looked at her. "I'll put him down if you go out with me."

She stared back in complete disgust. I wouldn't go out with you if you were the last people alive, James Potter! Now put him down! He hasn't done anything to you."

Sirius laughed. "He was born. Doesn't that count, Evans?"

James laughed hard, almost snorting at Sirius' comment. "That is correct, Padfoot." He then looked at Lily. "But, if you want me to put him down, I will. _Relashio_!" he said, releasing Snape from the spell and causing him to fall back to the ground. He then looked at Lily. "I let him go. So, will you go out with me, Evans?"

Lily was still furious as her eyes narrowed at James. "I already told you my answer, Potter. You are just a bloody arrogant git. I can't stand you." She saw Severus moving towards his wand, and she almost smirked. "After all, Severus is so much better than you, Potter."

James caught sight of a slight movement out of the corner of his eyes. He couldn't react quickly enough as Snape had pointed his wand at him and cast a spell. He flinched as he felt his cheek cut and saw the blood splattered on his clothes. His own anger rose then as he cast a spell. "_Mobilicorpus_!" He used the spell and turned Snape completely upside down, causing him to lose his wand and reveal his gray underwear. "That was a mistake, Snivellus, and Evans is not going to help you down from this one."

Severus was furious. He was not only embarrassed, but it was even worse to seem like he couldn't take care of himself. "I don't need any help from a Mudblood!"

Lily's eyes widened when she heard Severus say that. She never expected it from him. Her eyes narrowed as she looked at him. "Fine. You can hang there for all I care." She turned to leave, not wanting him to see the tears that were close to forming in her eyes. She then paused though and looked at him. "And you might want to wash your underwear, Snivellus."

James was angry. "Don't call her that, Snape. Apologize to her!" He looked very ready to go over there and beat Snape up.

"Don't bother, Potter. You are just as bad as he is," she stated coldly.

"But...I...I am not! I would never call you that name," he stuttered as he looked at her.

She rolled her eyes and left quickly. She didn't even bother to look back. Sirius wanted to know if he could do something else to Severus, but she didn't quite catch what he said. She was still shocked and hurt that he had called her a Mudblood. She ran up into the castle and to the bathroom, closing one of the stalls behind her as she began to

cry. She had really liked him, and then he had to go and call her that horrible name. She would just ignore him from now on. He was a Slytherin and he probably thought she was a Mudblood all along. He was probably just using her to get a good grade on his Charms exam.

"Damn him," she muttered in her frustration as she hit the side of the stall and sobbed.

Severus knew what Sirius was going to do next, and he fought to release the spell. James had lost his interest and finally let him down before going on to his adoring fans who had cheered for what he was doing

to Severus. Severus quickly grabbed his wand and book and went off. He had never felt so pissed off and embarrassed in his life. He would make James Potter and his friends pay for what they had done to him. Then there was Lily. She had called him Snivellus. She didn't have to do that. It was even more embarrassing that she had come to his rescue like that. Bloody Gryffindors! He would just forget her. She was nothing to him anyways. Nothing!

A/N: Please review! They are greatly appreciated!


	6. Avoiding Each Other

A/N: I know that it has been a while since I last updated this. I hope that it will not be so long between updates from now on. I thank everyone who has read and reviewed this fic. Also, I talk about updates for this and my other fanfiction on livejournal under the name cassiesnape.

Chapter Six: Avoiding Each Other

Severus glared out the window of the Hogwarts Express as it took him back to Hogwarts. It was his sixth year, and he had mixed feelings about going back to school. He hated his home life, and this summer had been particularly horrible. His father was often abusive to his mother, and he no longer knew what he could do to help her. She wouldn't leave his father. Then again, his father wouldn't let her. He sighed as he thought about how he spent most of his time in his room either reading through his father's Dark Arts books that he had snitched or mixing potions. He wanted to do something that would get that redhead out of his mind. He couldn't stop thinking about how they had last left things, and she was one of the reasons why he was not looking forward to school. There were also the Marauders as well, but he felt more ready for them this year as he had some new tricks up his sleeve. He would make them pay for what they had done to him, and he personally hoped that he would be able to get them expelled.

The train began to slow down and finally stopped at the station. The first years were being called forward to make their journey across the lake while the rest were getting in carriages. Severus walked along with the other Slytherins and managed to find an empty carriage in the middle. He entered and sat down as he glanced out the window. Then, he heard the door open, and he turned his head to see who it was.

Lily had opened the door, hoping to find a spot to sit as her friends had run out of space in their carriage for her. She found this particular one, but she frowned when she saw who was in there. She just stood there for a couple of seconds before she spoke. "I'll find another carriage. I know you wouldn't want to ride with a Mudblood," she spoke bitterly. She then turned on her heel to walk away when she heard someone call out to her.

"Evans, come sit with us," James' clear voice rang out.

Lily hesitated. She was not fond of James as he was too arrogant, but she was very upset about the way Severus had treated her when she thought that he was her friend. Part of her had even wanted more than friendship until he called her that dreadful name. "All right, Potter," she agreed. She gave a slight glance toward Severus before rolling her eyes and going off to sit with James.

Severus was a bit surprised about her reaction towards him, but he knew that he shouldn't have been. He had betrayed her trust, and he didn't think that he would ever get it back again. It was best to just avoid her and try to stop thinking about her. He glared as the door opened again. It was that mousey Pettigrew that hung around Potter, Black, and Lupin.

"Can I sit here? There's not room in the other carriages," Peter said in a hesitant and nearly frightened tone.

Severus didn't want him there, but he figured it couldn't hurt. "Get in," he hissed and the stared out the window as his anger began to boil, knowing that Lily was sitting in Potter's carriage.

The carriages quickly arrived at the castle once all the students were in them. The students mingled as they walked to the Great Hall where the sorting and the feast would be. Severus walked slightly behind Lily and the Marauders, and he heard bits and pieces of their conversation.

"—out with me, Evans. Please."

"—said no for the--time."

He couldn't quite catch the number of times she had said no.

James grabbed her arm. "—know—want—with me."

Lily pulled her arm away and glared at him. She then quickly ran off to catch up with her friends.

Severus took Lily's action to mean no again for Potter. He gave a slight smirk as he thought it was funny.

James turned around and spotted Severus' smirk. "What do you think is so funny, Snivellus?"

"You," Severus stated as he quickly fingered his wand, ready to draw it if need be.

James actually laughed. "Oooh, is Snivellus trying to get a backbone? I thought we taught you a lesson the last time. You just can't beat the Marauders."

Severus did not want to take this taunting again. He was furious with Potter and his friends, and he didn't care what happened. "Call me that name again, and I'll curse you to where you won't wake up for a week," he hissed as he pointed his wand at James' chest.

Sirius quickly had his wand out and pointed it at Severus. "You curse him, and I'll curse you, Snivellus."

Remus sighed. School hadn't technically started and they were already at it. "Let's just go. You don't want detention yet." He glanced over to Peter who was trembling behind him in hopes of not getting cursed himself.

James knew that Remus was right. They did need to just drop it this time. His parents were pretty furious with how many detentions and letters they had gotten as it was. They had almost threatened to take him out of school, and it only helped when Sirius came to live with them after he ran away from home. "This isn't over, Snivellus," he stated with an arrogant smirk as he turned around and motioned for the Marauders to come on.

Severus was furious that James had used that name again. He had told him what would happen if he did use it again, and he was going to keep to his word. "_Iacio_," he hissed as the red spell shot out of his wand and hit James right in the back of the head. He watched as his adversary moaned and fell to the ground, now completely unconscious. "I told him not to call me that name again," he ground out. He kept his wand pointed at the other Marauders as he went by them and got lost in the crowd.

Lily had noticed what happened. She was so shocked the Severus would attack James when his back was turned. It was so dishonorable. She then ran over to where James was lying on the ground. "Let's get him to the hospital wing."

The other Marauders nodded as they hoist James up to carry him to the hospital wing. Sirius in particular vowed to get Snape back for doing this to his best friend. He would find a way to make him pay.

A week had passed before James woke up from the spell. Severus had gotten detention for the entire week, but he did not lose any points from Slytherin because school had not officially started when he attacked James. Lily had actually visited James during this time in the hospital wing. She didn't think that he would know about it, but Sirius told him what happened as soon as he woke up. Now she didn't get any peace because James constantly continued to harass her about being his girlfriend. He was also as arrogant as ever because he thought that he was the better person to walk away when Snape hit him from behind. She had to admit that Severus shouldn't have done that, but she could understand why, though she still didn't want to be around Severus. He had changed, and he wasn't the boy she once knew any more. She didn't even know if that boy even existed. She had managed to avoid him for the most part, and she noticed that he had done the same. Since James had woken up, she had noticed that sometimes Severus would be around, watching her. She felt unnerved about it, so she had made a point to stay in either her dorm room or Gryffindor Common Room as much as possible. There were times when she couldn't avoid either of them, even though she wanted to.

James was following right beside Lily as she went to the library. "Evans, why won't you go out with me? You obviously care. You stayed by my bedside off and on all that week that I was unconscious."

She sighed. "Potter, you are impossible! Can't you just take no as an answer?" She was becoming rather exasperated with him as she entered the library and went to look for a particular Charms book to do research on the Confundus Charm.

James was relentless as he followed her into the library. "No, I can't take that as your answer. Please go out with me."

"Shh," came the librarian's voice as she heard what James said.

"Sorry," he muttered as he followed Lily to a section of the library where the Charm books were. "Can't you at least consider it for once? You always immediately say no."

She rolled her eyes and paused for an entire minute in order to humor him. "I've thought about it, and I still say no," she whispered as she turned toward the shelf to look for the book Unconfunding the Confunded.

James let out a frustrated sigh. "Come on, Evans! Why won't you go out with me? Give me five good reasons."

"I don't have to play such silly childish games, Potter. I have neither the time nor the energy. Can't you just drop this and leave me alone?"

"Fine. I'll drop it," James said in a tone of resignation. He really wasn't going to give up on her though. He really liked her, and he would make sure that she would go out with him eventually. "Well, can you perhaps help me with my school work? I was out for a week, and it's hard to get caught up in everything."

She looked over to him. "James, you don't even have a single book with you. How can I help you if you aren't even willing to bring your books along?" She knew that she would feel guilty if she didn't help him out with his school work.

"I didn't think to bring them. I haven't been feeling the best. Perhaps that spell hurt me more than they think." He slightly rubbed the back of his head as if it hurt. He would do anything to spend some time with her. "We could go back to the Common Room and study."

She gave him a concerned look when he rubbed the back of his head. "Alright, Potter. I'll check out this book and then we'll go and study together." She didn't realize that Severus was on the other side of the shelf or that he heard and saw everything.

Severus watched Lily check out her book and then leave the library with Potter. His eyes narrowed as he frowned. Despite the fact that he had told himself that he wanted nothing to do with her, he felt insanely jealous that James could manage to spend time with her. Begrudgingly, he was beginning to think that he should apologize to her before she finally did give into James' pleas. He was also furious about the fact that James was using what he had done to him as a way to get sympathy from Lily. He wasn't stupid. He knew that James faked still being injured. Lily just had too good of a heart to refuse not to help him. He suddenly wondered if she had helped him because she pitied him and couldn't refuse. That thought made he feel as if he had been punched in the stomach. He had to quickly shake it away though. "Lily wouldn't do that," he said aloud as he was trying to reassure himself. He too got a rather loud 'shh' from the librarian. He gave her a slight glare, grabbed his books, and left the library.

Swiftly walking the halls, he thought about Lily. He just couldn't get her out of his mind. Deep down, he would have to find some way to apologize to her. If she didn't accept it, which he doubted, then at least then he would know where they stood. He could either move on or move in. It would work out. He wasn't going to let Potter swoop in and take his flower away.

A/N: Please review! They are very appreciated.


	7. Apologies

Chapter Seven: Apologies

Almost two months had passed since the beginning of school. It was the day before Halloween, and on that Saturday, almost everyone from third year and above was going to go to Hogsmeade. It was the first outing of the year, and everyone was particularly excited, especially about visiting Honeydukes for the candy. Zonko's was also a major spot for the younger students and the ones still young at heart, which meant that the Marauders would likely stop there first.

Lily stuck with her group of friends as they went into Honeydukes. She had been spending more time than usual with them lately, though every time she turned around, she saw Severus. He looked like he wanted to speak with her, but she had nothing to say to him any more. Then there was James. The boy would not leave her alone! She was very close to hexing him to see if that worked. She had noticed that the Marauders hadn't been bothering Severus as much since he had cursed James. She didn't mind talking to Remus. They would have long conversations about their lives. He had even trusted her with his secret, and she was not going to tell a soul.

Idly, she looked at the various flavors of sugar quills. She smiled softly when she noticed that they had a new lemon-flavored one. She thought of Headmaster Dumbledore. He was known to be fond of lemon. She got a cherry and grape one and went to pay for it as her friends were looking at the fudge.

"That'll be four knuts, dear," the woman said as she put the two quills in a bag.

As Lily was getting out her money, Remus came over. "Can I talk to you for a minute?"

Lily handed the knuts to the woman and took the bag. "Okay," she agreed.

Remus gave her a smile. "James wants to talk to you. He sent me to ask you if you would meet him at Madam Puddifoot's. What is your answer?"

She sighed. She was surprised that James would be willing to meet her there, but she knew that a lot of girls went there with their boyfriends. He was probably hoping that this would make her change her mind about him. "Remus, I don't think I can meet him. He should know by now that my answer is still no."

He gave her a sympathetic smile. "I know that, Lily, but I think he's hoping that if he asks you enough times that you will finally say yes." Even he was getting tired of James asking her; it was annoying. "I'll tell him that you said no again."

"Why didn't he come here and ask me himself?" She knew that James was not shy about these things.

He shrugged. "I'm not sure. He knows that we are friends, so he might have thought that might help."

She nodded. "Well, my friends are ready to leave. I have to go."

"Bye, Lily."

"Bye, Remus." She gave him a smile and a slight wave as she went over to where her friends were. The group of four left Honeydukes to walk around Hogsmeade. It was a rather pleasant autumn day. She was wearing bell-bottom jeans, tennis shoes, and a green peasant shirt that brought out the green in her eyes.

"Why didn't you say yes, Lily?" Mary inquired. She had overheard what Remus was saying. "I would go out with James in a heartbeat. He's so groovy!"

Lily rolled her eyes. "Well, you can go and meet him then. I don't want to be with that arrogant git."

Mary and the other girls shook their heads. Sometimes they did not understand their friend, especially since one of the cutest and most popular boys in Hogwarts was asking her out. "I don't know what is up with you, Lily. You always turn him down. He's very popular, and his friend Sirius is really hot."

Lily laughed. "If you want to go and find James and his friends, then you are more than welcome to."

Mary looked at Julie and Selene. "We'll catch you later, Lils!" The three girls then ran off to go and find the Marauders.

Lily laughed and shook her head. "Bye," she called out after them. She knew that they were going to start thinking that she didn't like boys, but that wasn't the case. She just didn't like arrogant, stuck-up gits.

Glancing from side to side, she decided to just take a walk through Hogsmeade. She remembered the first time she was here. She had never seen a more fascinating place. She had to go into every shop almost and tried to do everything she could while there. Some of the thrill had worn off in three years, but it was still fascinating and so unlike being back at home. She knew that her parents would like to see it. Her sister would hate it, though. She was so uptight about everything, especially since she was dating that Vernon Dursley.

She stopped as she was deciding which way to go. She could go to the left, but that would take her by Madam Puddifoot's, and she did not want to go there. Instead, she went to the right, which led to the Hog's Head. She had never been in there before as she knew that it was a rather shady place, but she figured that no one would bother her. As she walked up to the entrance, she heard a familiar voice.

"Are you sure that you want to go in there, Lily," Severus asked as he stood behind her.

She turned around and looked at him. "Oh. It's you." She tucked a piece of red hair behind her ear. "Students are allowed to go in there," she spat out.

He had not come for a fight, but he felt insulted. "I know that," he hissed. "You can go in there for all I care."

"Fine," Lily said. She opened the door and stepped inside. The place was dark and dirty. She slightly gasped as she saw a cockroach scurry across the floor away from the light that filtered in from where she was holding the door open.

"Are you going to just stand there, Missy, or come in?" questioned the barman.

She noticed that the barman looked vaguely familiar, but she couldn't place him. "Y-yes, Sir. I am." She entered and went over and took a seat in the corner.

"Want something to drink or eat?" the barman asked as he cleaned a dirty glass with a dirty towel.

She made a slight face. "No. Thank you." He noticed his shrug as he went back to work. Honestly, she was tempted to make a run for it, but she was a Gryffindor. It wasn't in her nature to just turn around and bolt like some scaredy-cat. A sigh fell from her lips when Severus sat down across from her. "What do you want?"

His eyes narrowed slightly. He had been trying to get her alone for months so he could ask forgiveness. "You are making it hard for me to apologize," he said in a low tone.

She blinked. "Apologize?"

"Yes! I've been trying to talk to you for a couple of months now. You continued to avoid me. I want to say that I'm sorry for calling you…a Mudblood." He whispered that name as he didn't want anyone around here hearing it. It wasn't very safe here, even in the daytime, for a Muggle-born witch.

She was just so surprised. She had never expected an apology from him. It wasn't that she didn't think that he was capable of it, but she didn't think his pride would let him. "I'm sorry for calling you Snivellus. I was so angry when you said that to me. I never thought that you would do that." Her green eyes stared into his dark ones. She could see that he was being genuine.

He slightly nodded. "I know you didn't. I was angry at Potter, and I took it out on you when you tried to help me, and I do apologize. I should not have done that to you." He hesitantly reached his hand out and briefly brushed his long fingers against her hand before quickly pulling away. "I missed your friendship," he admitted. It was clear that saying such things was extremely difficult for him.

She smiled. "I've missed yours too. I want to be friends with you, Severus." She boldly reached out and took his hand into hers. She felt what anger that she did have for him melt away. She still wasn't overly pleased with what he had done to James, but she could live with that. James had done many horrible things to Severus, not that she condoned vengeance as a rule. "How was your summer?" She had not had a conversation with him since June, and she was curious. "How did you do on the O.W.L.s?"

He didn't exactly want to talk about his summer. "My summer was rather dull and boring. I stayed in my room and read a lot." He was also hiding from his father, not that he was going to say that. "As for my O.W.L.s, I got an O in most of them. I even managed to barely scrap by with an O in Charms. Thanks to your help with that silly wand work."

She smiled. "Congratulations. I managed to get an O on my Potions one because of your help." It was nice talking to him again.

"How was your summer?"

"Dreadful." She laughed. "Well, I guess it wasn't quite that bad. My parents are really nice. It's just my sister. She keeps on calling me a freak. Luckily, she spent a lot of time with her boyfriend when I was there, so I rarely saw her."

He nodded. If everything what Lily said about her sister's behavior was true, then he would hate to meet her. His head then snapped around when he heard the door open. It was some fellow Slytherins. "Get down," he hissed at Lily. He couldn't let them see him with her, especially since he heard that Nott had joined the Dark Lord's side.

"Snape, we've been wondering where you were," Nott said as he sat down at the table. His foot kicked Lily's leg by accident, but he didn't think anything of it. He glanced nervously around. "I've been speaking with You-Know-Who. He's looking for some new people. Interested?"

Severus shook his head. "Not particularly."

Nott's eyes narrowed. "Are you still soft, Snape? Going to let Potter and his gang run your life?"

Severus' eyes flared in silent rage. "I am not soft, and I took care of Potter. He was in the hospital wing for a week from what I did to him."

Jugson laughed. "We heard about that. Nice work."

Severus smirked. He would gladly curse Potter again, if he had the chance. "Thank you. It was a good spell to use," he admitted.

"That is why…" Nott started to say when he felt something hit his leg. "What the bloody hell?"

Severus quickly ducked his head under the table. He saw that Lily was about to scream because of a large rat by her foot. His hand shot out, and he covered her mouth and pulled her back against his legs. "It's just a rat," he said as the rat scurried from under the table and ran off.

Nott and his comrades did not seem too thrilled with the rat. "We're going to go, but we will talk to you later." They turned around and left.

Severus waited for them to be gone before he let Lily's mouth go. "You can get up now."

Lily crawled out from under the table and brushed herself off. "It's filthy under there," she said as she brushed off the dirt that had gotten on her pants.

He gave a slight nod. This place was disgusting. "We should leave before anyone else comes in and sees us." He stood up and looked at her. "We can talk another time, Lily." A slight smile pursed his lips before he turned and left quickly.

She smiled back. "Okay." She stood there for a moment after he left before she went out. She was glad that they were friends again. Maybe he hadn't changed as much as she thought, but she hoped that they could be as close as they were before. She remembered the brief kiss they had shared before the O.W.L.s, and she wondered if they would kiss again. She hoped so. These thoughts continued running through her mind as she went to find her friends again. Everything would work out. She had hope for it.


End file.
